Monday, October 24, 2005

Zip It Until You Zip It

One of the rules of Being A Man is that you don't talk in the Men's Room. You go in, take care of business, and get out. It doesn't matter if you're alone, or with a buddy, or run into a guy you know. A quick head nod hello is permissible, but no talking, no extended conversations, no hovering near the sink having a discussion. Even if you're talking to a friend on the way in, as soon as you get to that tile-floor threshold, dummy up until the mission is complete.

That's why I was so surprised recently to be standing at a urinal and have another guy, five or six urinals away, suddenly say in a loud voice, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I quickly turned my head in the direction of this out-of-the-ordinary outburst (as did the two other guys between us), wondering two things: 1) "Is he talking to me?" and 2) "Why is he talking in the first place?"

He wasn't looking at any of us -- his gaze was straight ahead at the wall over the urinal -- but as he continued to speak, it became obvious that he was using a cell phone headset and was on a call. I don't know who he was talking to, but can guarantee you that they wouldn't have been thrilled to know where he was standing and what he was doing at that particular moment.

And not just because he broke the No Talking In The Men's Room rule -- this was a double violation. I would have reported him, but that would have meant speaking in a No Communication Zone.