State Of The Union Drinking Game

For tomorrow night's State of the Union address, here's a drinking game devised by comedian Will Durst...

What you need to play:
Rules of the Game:
  1. Whenever George W uses the phrases, "defending liberty," "enormous progress" or "challenges ahead," last person to knock wood, has to drink 2 shots of beer. If he actually says "there are those who envy our freedoms and seek to destroy us," everybody drinks a whole beer.
  2. The 1st time George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to eat 1 dollop of chili off a tortilla chip must drink 3 shots of beer. The 2nd time George W mentions the tragic events of 9/11, the last person to eat 1 dollop of guacamole off a tortilla chip must drink 3 shots of beer. Continue to alternate. If you mischip, drink 2 extra shots of beer.
  3. If George W mispronounces Iraqi President Al-Maliki's name, drink 2 shots of beer. If he even attempts to pronounce the name of Iranian President Mahmoud Amadinejad, first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking 3 shots of beer.
  4. If George W makes up a word like "9/11ers or "deterrencism," last person to yell out "Strategerie!" drinks 2 shots of beer.
  5. Every time Senators Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama are shown in the audience, Suit drinks 1 shot of beer.
  6. The first time George W talks about immigration, last person to finish 3 chips of guacamole has to drink 3 shots of beer.
  7. If either the Vice President, Secretary of State or First Lady are caught napping, last person to make snoring noises drinks 2 shots of beer. If Senator Robert Byrd is shown awake, Blue and White drink 2 shots of beer.
  8. Everybody drinks 2 shots of beer if President Bush mentions Scooter Libby. 3 shots of beer if he mentions Jack Abramoff. 4 shots of beer if he mentions Osama bin Laden.
  9. Whenever George W quotes the Bible, last person to sing the first 8 bars of "Amazing Grace" has to drink 2 shots of beer.
  10. If George W smirks during a standing ovation, take turns throwing chips of chili and guacamole at TV. First person to hit Bush's head exempt from drinking 3 shots of beer.
  11. If George W tells a folksy Texas tale with a deeper meaning about not leaving before the job is done, Suit has to drink out of beer filled hands of Rags who gets to dry his hands on Suit's jacket.
  12. Predict the number of applause breaks. After the speech, drink number of shots of beer equal to the difference between your estimate and the real number.
Extras: