Thursday, March 29, 2007

Department of Duh

Item # 1: The Kaiser Family Foundation has discovered that, in TV programming aimed at kids, there are lots of commercials for junk food but, shockingly, not a lot of commercials for fruits and vegetables. They claim that's a major factor in childhood obesity in this country.

That's what's making kids fat? Bring back those Jolly Green Giant cartoons and kids will start running to Mom asking, "Can we have more of those French-cut green beans, please?" I don't think so.

I'm going out on a limb here, but I'm guessing that if kids are eating more junk food, it's because adults are buying it for them. You don't see a lot of 8-year-olds doing the family shopping. Sure, they may nag Mom to buy them the crap they see advertised, but then it's up to Mom to say the most horrible word in the English language: "No!" It's not the food companies putting extra pounds on kids -- and I don't even buy the now-standard line about child obesity, but still -- it's the parents who feed them.

Item #2: Getting kicked in the head can hurt your brain. That's what researchers in Turkey have concluded after a massive project that evaluated a huge number of kickboxers.

Okay, it was only 22 of them. Probably had a hard time recruiting more people who wanted to get kicked in the head. The more important question is, who funds research projects like this -- and how can I get some of that money? I'm thinking of studying the effects of being kicked in the nuts, and I doubt anyone will volunteer to be a subject unless I pay them. A lot.

Item #3: And finally, a shocking discovery by ABC News -- some sodas contain caffeine, which can be "a quick pick-me-up," just like coffee. Next week, they're going to investigate the theory that showers can make you cleaner.