Monday, April 30, 2007

Aaron Barnhart, TV Barn Radio

Today on KMOX, I talked with TV critic Aaron Barnhart about the FCC's report on regulating violence on TV, Rosie O'Donnell leaving "The View," and whether this is the last season for "Law and Order" (clang-clang!). Listen.


You'll find Aaron in print in the Kansas City Star and online at TVBarn.com. He's on my KMOX show every Monday at 4:15pm CT.

Cry-Baby Sumo


It's "Cry-Baby Sumo" day in Japan, and don't those kids look happy? The winner is the baby who cries the loudest. The loser is forced to live in the fat folds of a sumo wrestler for a week.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Jon Macks

Today on KMOX, I joked with Jon Macks about the LA Times sportswriter who is going on vacation as a man, but coming back as a woman. Then we dissected the silliness of the Democratic presidential candidates debate. Listen.


Jon Macks is a longtime staff writer for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," author of several books including "How To Be Funny," and is developing a major motion picture for Universal. He has also written for the Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, Comic Relief, A Capitol Fourth, and many other TV events. He's on my KMOX show Fridays at 4:15pm CT.

The FCC and Violence on TV

Today on my KMOX show, I talked with Reason magazine's Nick Gillespie, who brilliantly deconstructed the FCC's new congressionally-mandated report about violence on TV and its effects on children. It's part of the ever-growing movement to have our Nanny Government regulate content because you can't control what your kids watch.

And you know it's all about the kids. God forbid that adults be allowed to choose their own entertainment without government intererence.

Listen, the read Nick's piece on the subject at Reason.com.


Funny, my daughter's almost 13 years old and lives in a house with three televisions and two parents who watch hours of TV every week -- yet she's well-adjusted, smart, funny, and non-violent. How did that happen? Oh yeah, responsible parenting. That's something you can't legislate. In fact, you can't even bring it up. I would love to hear the FCC commissioners ask anyone who complains about the TV programs their kids watch, "why don't you accept responsibility for what you allow your own children to be exposed to?"

This is not what the vast majority of Americans want. This is political pandering to a small special-interest group that believes the First Amendment is optional. And they don't just want the FCC to crack down on the broadcasters, but also on the cable and satellite channels that are now available in 88% of American homes.

However, I'll try to be open-minded about this for a moment. If you support more regulation of television, tell me two things -- what current broadcast-TV show would you consider so violent that the government should censor it, and how do you define "too violent"?

Crowing About Crow

One side of the face: "Who cares what Sheryl Crow says? She's just a singer going around expressing her opinions in public, and nothing she says matters."

The other side of the face: "Hey, did you hear what Sheryl Crow said? We have to pay attention to it, make a big deal out of it, and punish her for saying it!"

One other quick story about this.

I was talking to a friend about the Burke-Crow-Costas controversy, and how the Archibishop didn't specifically tell Catholics they shouldn't go to the Gala on Saturday night. Instead, he said he would leave it to "their conscience" to make that decision.

My friend (who is Catholic) said that's the old Catholic guilt thing, essentially a message of "let it be on your head." I told her that guilt is a little different in my upbringing. Being the son of a Jewish mother, I was more likely to hear, "Oh, you're going to see Sheryl Crow, but you won't come see me? Did Sheryl Crow carry you for nine months? Did Sheryl Crow ever cook you a nice dinner?"

Fast Food Ads vs. Reality

In Burger King ads, this is what a Whopper looks like...


But when you get one, here's what the Whopper really looks like...


Here's a website that offers more ads-vs.-reality photos.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Call It A Sheep-Dog

As heard this afternoon on my KMOX show, here's a Knuckleheads In The News® Hall Of Fame story, about some con artists in Japan who set up a business called Poodles As Pets. But instead of dogs, they sold them sheep -- and the buyers didn't know the difference!

The scam was uncovered when Japanese moviestar Maiko Kawamaki went on a talk show and wondered why her new pet would not bark or eat dog food. She was crestfallen when told it was a sheep. Then hundreds of other women got in touch with police to say they feared their new "poodle" was also a sheep.
You MUST read the whole story. Then read this update, in which Snopes debunks the whole thing.

Regis & Dave

Regis is back on his show this morning, six weeks after his heart surgery, and looking good. David Letterman is his guest, and had the Line Of The Day -- when Regis asked him about the quintuple bypass surgery he'd had a few years ago, Dave answered, "Well, my first bypass was The Tonight Show."

Leopard Panic


In Xiamen, China, someone noticed a leopard on the sidewalk and got so frightened, they screamed that anyone nearby should get away from the ferocious beast. Passers-by, hearing the warning, went into full panic mode and ran into the street, stopping traffic.

Finally, the cops got involved and brought in a specialist from the zoo with a tranquilizer gun. The doctor was about to shoot it when he noticed that the leopard wasn't moving. One of the police officers moved in carefully and touched the leopard.

That's when they realized it was a stuffed toy, not a real animal.

Now, that picture is the actual leopard in question. Does it look real enough to you to induce panic?

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Bob Costas, Sheryl Crow, and the Archbishop

I've said many times that anyone who does something to help sick children is doing something noble. For 19 years, Bob Costas has been raising money for Cardinal Glennon Children's Medical Center here in St. Louis, with an annual fundraising concert at the Fox Theater. He calls upon his showbiz friends to line up major comedians and musical acts (e.g. Ray Romano, Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, John Mellencamp, Tony Bennett, Hootie & The Blowfish) and thousands of people show up each year.

This Saturday, the headliners are Billy Crystal and Sheryl Crow.

Today, Archbishop Raymond Burke condemned Sheryl Crow's participation, calling it a "scandal" that a Catholic hospital would be involved with someone who has publicly expressed her pro-choice position and appeared in ads last year supporting Amendment 2 in Missouri (the stem-cell referendum). Burke is the same religious leader who told Catholics that they shouldn't vote for John Kerry or any other pro-choice politician.

My producer Fred Bodimer got the first word on this story and an interview with the Archbishop, in which he made his case (remember, this is four days before the event!).

Immediately afterwards, I had Bob Costas on the phone with his reaction. Listen to what a classy guy Bob is and how diplomatically he handles this. My favorite part is where he explains that he'll understand if some who have bought tickets decide not to go, as long as the money from their tickets still goes to the hospital.


What if this situation was reversed? Just imagine the reaction if Sheryl Crow announced "I'm not going to do a benefit for a children's hospital if it's associated with the Catholic church, because I don't agree with them on abortion and stem cell research." She'd be crushed by all the negative publicity, with people asking how she can turn her back on the sick kids and let her political agenda get in the way of helping them. It would make her "one sheet of toilet paper" gaffe seem even less insignificant than it actually was. Is it fair to treat Crow that way for her views, but not Burke?

Ironically, Billy Joel is performing in St. Louis tonight, thirty years after his hit "Only The Good Die Young" was banned by Archbishop John Joseph Carberry. I wonder how many Catholics were inside the Scottrade Center singing that song with Billy tonight?

Jeff Bell's OCD


This afternoon on my KMOX show, I talked to Jeff Bell, who suffers from an extreme form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which he writes about in his book, "Rewind, Replay, Repeat."

Jeff is the afternoon anchor on all-news KCBS/San Francisco, but his bosses and co-workers had no idea he suffered from OCD -- despite the fact that he had to take cabs to cover stories because if he drove himself, he'd end up going around in circles to make sure he hadn't run someone over. We discussed that, the impact this has had on his personal life, and how he's been able to get it under control.

Listen, and to find out more, visit Jeff's website.

Exploding Sewer

A traffic camera captured the effects of a rainstorm on one sewer when the water just wouldn't be contained anymore. Watch where the manhole cover ends up after the geyser, and what happens to the driver who encounters it.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tot Tackle

Here's the video Kevin Wheeler mentioned on my KMOX show today, of a 4-year-old kid being bowled over near the end zone of a spring football game in Colorado. The question is why a kid that young was left alone there -- his father was several yards away -- in an incredibly dangerous area near the field. After the crunch of wide reciever and wall, the kid is lucky to be alive...

Left On The Bus

Kelly Fogle was understandably freaked out yesterday when her son called to say that her 5-year-old daughter, a special ed student, had not been dropped off by the bus after school. Today on my KMOX show, she explained what happened next, leading up to her daughter being found, sweating and exhausted, but safe.

Listen.


Postscript: Paul Tandy, Director of Public Affairs for Parkway School District, called right after this interview to say that the district had spoken to Kelly and apologized to her yesterday when she picked up Natalie. I asked what would happen to the bus driver, and Tandy said he had been suspended without pay immediately and recommended for firing to the Board of Education. Another driver was on that route today.

War Lies

Today on my KMOX show, I played the VERY disturbing testimony on Capitol Hill by Kevin Tillman about how the Pentagon lied and manufactured stories about the death of his brother, Pat, in Afghanistan several years ago. The fact that the family was misled purposely, so that the government could create a tale of heroism, indicates not just a lack of trust in the American people, but also a disrespect for every member of our military.

Kevin Tillman is no anti-war nut. He volunteered along with Pat, and was serving with him in Afghanistan at the time of the friendly fire incident that took his brother's life. Listen to his testimony.


Jessica Lynch also testified, telling how her story of becoming a POW was perverted by the Pentagon to make her into "the girl Rambo from West Virginia." That story was perpetuated by The Washington Post, which trumpeted the phony story of Lynch's heroism. The irony is that Lynch still talks about her real heroes that day, including her roommate, Lori Piestawa (the first Native American to die in the war), and Sgt. Donald Walters (whose acts that day were of true bravery and selflessness). Had the military allowed Lynch to come home, heal, and tell the truth about what happened, perhaps they would have gotten their due.

Listen to Lynch's testimony.

Stephen Colbert vs. Sean Penn

Stephen Colbert takes on Sean Penn in a Metaphor-Off from Thursday's "Colbert Report" (listen for "No Whammies!")...

Monday, April 23, 2007

Aaron Barnhart, TV Barn Radio

Today on KMOX, I talked with TV critic Aaron Barnhart about NBC using the Virginia Tech shooter video and branding it with their news logo. Then we discussed the return of "Heroes," and a new Bill Moyers PBS show that takes the media to task for how it covered the buildup to the war in Iraq.

Listen.


You'll find Aaron in print in the Kansas City Star and online at TVBarn.com. He's on my KMOX show every Monday at 4:15pm CT.

Top Ten George W. Bush Moments

At the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday night, Press Secretary Tony Snow introduced this David Letterman list of the Top Ten George W. Bush Moments...

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Worth A Link

  • Amanda Schaffer on our government spending a billion dollars on abstinence-only programs in the last decade, only to discover that teens in the program were no more likely to abstain from sex than their peers who were not in the program.
  • At Yale, drama students won't be able to use real weapons onstage anymore, thanks to a ban imposed by the Dean of Student Affairs. Now, sword fights will have that ultra-realistic look that wood provides. That should stop the next Cho-like crazy student killer.
  • Mark Cuban on how TV stations are only hurting themselves by running cheesy commercials and infomercials.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Radio Delay

My friend Mark Evanier in Los Angeles asked on his blog today why Dodgers games on the radio are now out of sync with the live event:

Is it being done intentionally to discourage people from listening to Vin Scully on the radio while they watch the game at the stadium or on TV? I can't imagine why Vin Scully would need to be broadcast on a delay, nor can I fathom why anyone would care if you listened to him this way. Can anyone clear this up for me?
A reader named Dave Sikula wrote to Mark and explained that the game (and all other live programming) is on delay because radio owners are afraid a prohibited word will be accidentally aired and they'll be fined by the FCC.

That's true, but it's not the complete answer. There's also the technical matter of broadcasting in HD.

Although the technology hasn't really caught on with consumers, most AM & FM stations in the major markets now have an HD signal, and the digital processing inherent in transmitting that signal creates an extra delay of just over 8 seconds. So, even if there were no content-control delay, you still wouldn't be hearing Vin Scully's call of the Dodgers game in real time. And when you hear the top of the hour tone on my KMOX afternoon show just before the hourly CBS Radio newscast, the combination of the two delays puts that tone some 14 seconds after the true top of the hour.

However, there's one positive side effect of the HD signal for those of us doing the shows with airborne traffic reports. Before, when we were only using the content-control delay (the one with the "dump" button that we very rarely had to use), we couldn't go to Captain Rodger Brand and John Larrabee -- the guys who do our traffic reports from a helicopter and a plane -- without coming out of delay. They were monitoring the over-the-air signal, and if we kept them in delay, they'd hear their own voices coming back at them several seconds later and likely spiral out of the sky and into the Earth. To avoid that nasty scenario, I had to pause each time while we dumped out of delay, then introduced them, had them do the reports, and then we'd start building up the delay again during a commercial break so it was there when I went back to taking phone calls or whatever.

Now here's the benefit of the HD signal -- even on AM, it comes with a sideband signal that we use to send them a pre-delay audio feed directly from the studio, which we couldn't do before, and which they hear through an HD receiver. That way, we never have to dump out of delay and they still get to hear everything we're doing in the studio as it happens. Considering we do "traffic and weather together every ten minutes" in the last two hours of my show, that's a dozen times a day we no longer have to worry about going in and out of delay. On the other hand, it means that when they describe an accident they've just spotted on Highway 40, you won't know about it until 14 seconds later.

Note that there is an even longer delay when you listen to my show live via KMOX.com, because that digital processing of the streaming audio takes even more time.

Interestingly, many people with Dish Network or Direct TV were already out of the loop when it came to watching games on TV with the sound down so they could hear their favorite radio play-by-play guy describe the action. There's a delay inherent in the signals bouncing to and from the TV satellites that would add a couple of seconds, too. Radio broadcasts are almost all done via ISDN phone lines, which move the audio much more quickly. So, for instance, during a Rams game, you could hear Steven Jackson go off-tackle and gain four yards, and just as the whistle blew at the end of the play, you'd see the play start on TV.

One other quick story. When I did mornings at WYNY/New York in the mid-80s with Rick Harris (no relation), NBC had never had a morning show that took listener calls on the FM station, and they were scared to death someone would say something wrong. Thus, we were prohibited from taking those calls live until they installed a delay unit. Rather than ordering a new stereo unit from Eventide, their engineers borrowed two mono units from our AM sister station WNBC, wired them in (one for the left channel, one for the right), and told us to go ahead and try it.

The next morning, when we began the show at 5:30am, we punched in the delay system and went about our normal morning silliness. In less than a minute, every hotline number on the phone bank was ringing like crazy. We were still talking on the air, listening to ourselves in pre-delay and thus didn't know what was wrong, but it had to be something major, so we went to a commercial break quickly.

Off the air, Rick answered one hotline and I answered another, to find the chief engineer and the program director both yelling at us to dump out of delay immediately. It turned out that the two mono units weren't slaved together, and their delay wasn't in sync. None of the engineers had considered this possibility, and they hadn't tested it on the air until that moment.

The effect was to create an echo from the left channel to the right channel that was unlistenable. We turned the units off completely and had to do yet another show with no live phone calls. Two days later, a stereo unit arrived, the engineers put it in, and everything worked just fine -- except we had an airborne reporter then, too, which meant going in and out of delay all morning for his reports.

I was not all that surprised when NBC got out of the local radio business less than two years later.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Jon Macks

Today on KMOX, I joked with Jon Macks about John Edwards' $400 haircut, Alec Baldwin's voice mail to his daughter, and the Rolling Stones' effect on wild horses. Then I gave Jon a Joke Challenge about a stud elephant. Listen.


Jon Macks is a longtime staff writer for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," author of several books including "How To Be Funny," and is developing a major motion picture for Universal. He has also written for the Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, Comic Relief, A Capitol Fourth, and many other TV events. He's on my KMOX show Fridays at 4:15pm CT.

Joel Makower on Earth Day

With Earth Day this Sunday -- I know, you hadn't heard about it -- I had Joel Makower back on my KMOX show this afternoon for some perspective on where we are on environmental issues.

We talked about large corporations like Wal-Mart waving the green flag, what it means to be carbon neutral and buy carbon offsets, why we don't see a lot of green marketing claims anymore, and whether the private sector should lead the way or government has to play a role. Joel also explained how your own bottom line still comes down to the three R's (reduce, reuse, recycle).

Listen, then read Joel's blog, and his GreenBiz.com site, too.

This Close To Dead

For anyone who still has the temerity to ask why the victims in those Virginia Tech classrooms didn't rush Cho to stop him from killing, read this account of what it was like for Colin Goddard, a student who was inches away from the shooter.

John Edwards Feels Pretty

If John Edwards is going to get a $400 haircut from a Beverly Hills stylist, he ought to have his own theme music, provided in the video below.

The whole notion of having a "stylist" is alien to me, as it probably is to most men. I get my hair (what little there is, so go ahead and accuse me of jealousy) cut by a barber. That can be a man or a woman, but it's always a barber, and never in a "salon." As for the $400, that may be more than I spend on haircuts in an entire year, even with a generous tip.

Recently on my KMOX show, we had a discussion of the question that is inevitably asked of all presidential candidates: "Do you know how much a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread cost?" Rudy Giuliani got trapped by it last week, guessing way low, although he did know the price of a gallon of gas. For politicians who have reached the level where they're running for president, they don't know that stuff because they don't do their own shopping, and haven't for many years.

I wonder whether that question and answer are factors in how anyone votes. There are so many hot-button issues exploited on the national level, and there's very little any president can do about the price of consumer goods. Knowing the correct retail price of grocery items is a good way to meet Bob Barker, but is it a valid test for candidates?

To be honest, I'm not always sure what those things cost, because when we need milk, I go to the store and buy milk. I'm not going to shop around to find the place that has it for 6¢ less. I know we're fortunate not to have to watch every penny -- but if I don't, then Giuliani, Clinton, McCain, and Obama certainly don't.

That said, you'd think this would be one of the first things they'd learn before starting their presidential campaigns. Maybe, on the way to the big kickoff announcement, they could have a staffer run to the store and do a price check, and then memorize it for the inevitable press opportunity when the question comes up.

Of course, if the question is, "How much does a hair cut cost?" and your answer is in the triple digits, you may have an even more serious relatability problem.

Now, see how far you get into this clip before you say, "Leave the hair alone, John! It's fine!"

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Beast Chow

Some of the callers to my KMOX show and commenters in the topic below have taken some of the families of the Virginia Tech victims to task for so willingly speaking into any camera or microphone that's shoved in their face. They wonder if doing so makes it hypocritical for them to then criticize the news media for its coverage of the story and airing of the Cho videos and photos.

I don't like the notion of attacking the victims of any tragedy, or their families -- but I see the point. I can assure you that when and if a tragedy befalls my family, you will not see me discussing it on "The Today Show" or any other media outlet, including my own radio show. I'll be too busy mourning and dealing with how to piece my life back together, a process of healing that will last long past the point at which any journalist would still be interested. I'm not saying that others are wrong to handle this differently, because it's an ultra-personal decision, but for me it's not an option.

My colleagues in both the radio and TV newsrooms will hate me for saying this, but I wish more people who find themselves at the center of a tragic news story would tell reporters to go away, that they have no comment to make, that they don't want to share this horrible moment with the world.

As one who works inside the mass media beast, I can tell you that it lives to chew up everyone and everything in its path for as long as there's meat on the bone. Once that's gone, and maybe some of the marrow with it, the beast moves to its next story and devours it in the same way -- and on and on. But there's no law that says you have to be fodder for the beast. At a time when your life has been turned upside down and you don't know which way to turn, resist the urge to turn towards the spotlight.

You'll feel better afterwards.

Show The Shooter?

Hot topic on my KMOX show this afternoon and Channel 4 segment tonight is whether the media should be showing the Cho videos, pictures, and words.

A lot of angry people say they shouldn't. For some of them, this is yet another reason to bash the media which, in their agenda-driven estimation, never does anything good. I disagree, but then, I'm the guy that watched the Nick Berg beheading.

Your thoughts?

Most-Pierced Woman


Meet Elaine Davidson, who claims to be the world record holder for body piercings, with a couple hundred in her face alone, and a total of 3,920 piercings and tattoos in various places on her body.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Worth A Link

  • Michael Markowitz contradicts Andy Rooney's claim that the Chevy logo is "the most widely-recognized emblem of any product in the world."
  • Mark Evanier shares an anecdote or two about Kitty Carlisle Hart, who died today at age 96, thus scoring me 4 points in the office Death Pool.
  • Radley Balko outs obsessed blogger Debbie Schlussel who, in yet another desperate attempt to promote her political agenda, dug around on the internet until she found a guy whose name sounded like the Virginia Tech shooter's name, then claimed it was Cho, and that he was a "jihadist."
  • The Smoking Gun has one of Cho's plays, "Richard McBeef," which gets a hard-R rating for violence and profanity
  • Steven Levitt on how Arizona is trying to stop Zillow.com from offering free appraisals of real estate in that state

VFTW Dave Meets CBS Dave

Dave Dellaterza of VoteForTheWorst.com was on Letterman's show last night. This afternoon, he described the experience on my KMOX show, from what it's like backstage to exactly how cold that studio is. Then we talked about who will be eliminated from "American Idol" tonight.

Listen.

E-Mail Of The Day

As a followup to my earlier columns on the banning of tag and dodgeball, and Paula Spencer's piece on protecting kids from everything but fear, Kelly Hyde e-mails:

I work downtown and the other day I was taking a walk at the Arch on my lunch break. It was a nice day so it was very busy and I could tell there were several field trips there as well. I happened to notice that a group of kids were playing a game in the grass. When I got closer I could hear them yelling, "Red Rover, Red Rover!" I couldn't believe it. These kids were on a school field trip and their teachers were letting them play RedRover. I thought it was great. I had heard that Red Rover was outlawed almost everywhere because kids can break their arms when other kids try to break through to the other side. It was refreshing to see that.

Simon Cowell's TV Debut

The year was 1990, the British game show was "Sale Of The Century," and the contestant on the left was Simon Cowell. At the time, he was just a record company exec making his TV debut and trying to win a Fiat, but he went home with a set of kitchen utensils instead.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Worth A Link, VT Edition

  • Jesse Walker is sick of all those people using the Virginia Tech massacre to promote their pro-gun or anti-gun agendas. He makes the point that I've been making since yesterday, a reminder that school shootings are rare -- and that the Virginia Tech campus was among the safest places in the world.
  • Brian Crecente debunks claims by Jack Thompson, the man who blames video games for just about everything, who appeared on Fox News connecting the Virginia Tech tragedy to video games, despite a complete lack of evidence.
  • Xeni Jardin on how the online rumor mill went crazy naming the wrong Asian-American student as the suspect in the VT story, leading to all sorts of threats.

Police Scalping Scandal update

As a followup to the Police Scalping Scandal, I talked with Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce today on KMOX about why she isn't prosecuting eight St. Louis police officers who took World Series tickets from scalpers and gave them to friends and family.

She explained that she's constrained by constitutional limitations that don't allow her to use the confessions the cops made during the internal affairs investigation as admissable evidence.

This sends a horrible message to both the police and the public, and makes it mandatory that the state legislature change the ordinances to prevent future similar ethical and criminal violations by police officers. I have heard from several people who believe that because these cops did such a dangerous job, they should be given some slack. Wrong! Regardless of the job they do, they have each taken an oath to uphold the law -- when they don't live up to that oath, there should be consequences.

As the officers' two-week suspension winds down, the civilian Police Board meets tomorrow to decide whether to accept Chief Joe Mokwa's punishment for the officers -- probation and demotion to a lower rank for a year.

Listen.

Fill'er Up With Sopranos Unleaded

As "The Sopranos" winds down, Howard Mortman noticed that, in the opening montage they've used in every episode since the show debuted, there's a quick shot of a gas station. Take a look at what a gallon of gas cost in New Jersey a decade ago.

Monday, April 16, 2007

A Very Bad Day

It was interesting both watching and doing the coverage of the Virginia Tech massacre today. As the afternoon progressed, it occurred to me that this story, while horrific and sad, was getting a huge boost from the technological know-how of the residents of that campus in Blacksburg.

This is Virginia Tech, after all -- but even more than that, it's the first big story to take place on a campus where everyone is connected, not only to everyone else, but to the world outside. Within minutes of the tragedy, cell phone video emerged, complete with the disturbing soundtrack of gunfire recorded by student Jamal Albarghouti. When the cell phone circuits became too busy to accomodate outgoing calls, students used MySpace and Facebook pages to reassure parents and friends that they were okay. They used instant messaging and e-mail to discuss with each other what had happened.

We were able to connect with Eric Frey, a former KMOX producer who left us to go to Virginia Tech to get his Masters. Unable to connect with his landline phone, my board op, Kevin, sent Eric a text message on his cell phone, and within minutes we had him on my show for a first-person account of what had transpired this morning. While we were doing that, a student journalist was appearing on a TV newscast via webcam from his room during the lockdown. The university itself kept posting updates on its homepage, and the Roanoke Times provided continuous coverage via a blog on its website.

Tonight, students are using Facebook and MySpace to leave condolences on the pages of those who died, forming an impromptu online memorial. For those who have said that spending time online is creating a world of lonely, singular people, here's proof that there is a real community there, sharing experiences of one very bad day.

Aaron Barnhart, TV Barn Radio

Today on KMOX, I talked with Aaron Barnhart about the PBS documentary series "America at a Crossroads," the return of "Hustle" on AMC, and the debut of Sundance Channel's green Tuesdays.

Listen.


You'll find Aaron in print in the Kansas City Star and online at TVBarn.com. He's on my KMOX show every Monday at 4:15pm CT.

Writing The Wartime Experience

Tonight's the night for the "Operation Homecoming: Writing The Wartime Experience" on PBS. Colby Buzzell and Jack Lewis, two of the soldiers featured in that documentary, talked about it on my KMOX show last month. Listen here.

Bill Maher, Elite and Proud

On his HBO show this weekend, Bill Maher had a scathing commentary entitled "Say It Loud: I'm Elite and Proud!" about the many Bush administration attorneys who got their degrees from Pat Robertson's law school...

Friday, April 13, 2007

Jon Macks

Today on KMOX, I joked with Jon Macks about Imus being fired, the New Jersey Governor's hit-and-run, and Los Angeles trying to get the 2012 Summer Olympics.

Listen.


Jon Macks is a longtime staff writer for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," author of several books including "How To Be Funny," and is developing a major motion picture for Universal. He has also written for the Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, Comic Relief, A Capitol Fourth, and many other TV events. He's on my KMOX show Fridays at 4:15pm CT.

Lisa Tucker of "American Idol"


Today on KMOX, I talked with Lisa Tucker, the teenager with the big voice who came in 10th on "American Idol" last year. We talked about what life is like as a contestant, where she and the others lived, and how she continued to go to high school while doing the show. I also asked her about Sanjaya, Melinda, Blake and the remaining contestants this season, and those she competed against (e.g. Taylor Hicks, Katherine McPhee, and Chris Daughtry).

Listen.

Croc Lives Hand To Mouth


Look closely and you'll see a human arm sticking out of this crocodile's mouth. It belongs to a veterinarian who thought the croc was tranquilized when he started working on it. Ooops! Details here.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Jeremy Scahill on Blackwater


This afternoon on my KMOX show, Jeremy Scahill discussed his book, "Blackwater," about the powerful private army that our government has hired to fight alongside our military in Iraq, Afghanistan, and even domestically.

There are so many disturbing angles to this story. We're losing career military men who leave because they can earn much more in Blackwater's army of private contractors. There's no oversight of Blackwater or its employees by Congress or the Pentagon. They recruit mercenaries from other countries, so we're not just outsourcing our customer service operators, but now we're outsourcing our soldiers. Blackwater provides security for our diplomats, ambassadors, and even Nancy Pelosi's recent trip to Syria -- that's a job that used to fall to the US Marines. And there's lots more.

Listen, then get the book.

Katie's Copy

One of Katie Couric's producers got caught plagiarizing a Wall St. Journal piece for Katie's blog on CBSNews.com, and was fired for it. But here's the bigger question -- why isn't Katie writing her own blog? They pay her $15,000,000 a year and she can't even come up with something of her own to say each day? I guess that's why they call the news that she's reading copy.

Pork, The Other Prom Meat

Nothing says fun at the prom more than a guy in a suit that smells like bacon.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Bye Bye, Lakisha


Dave Dellaterza of VoteForTheWorst.com agrees with me that Lakisha is likely to be eliminated from "American Idol" tonight [ooops -- it turned out that Haley went home]. We discussed it on my KMOX show this afternoon, and whether Sanjaya Fever is strong enough to keep him around through the finals.

Then Dave revealed that he's scheduled to appear on the Letterman show next Tuesday (we'll talk about that on my show next Wednesday).

Listen.

Protecting Kids From Everything But Fear

Here's that essay I read on my KMOX show this afternoon, entitled "We Protect Kids From Everything But Fear," by Paula Spencer.

Also see similar columns of mine about eliminating tag and the death of dodge ball.

Face Paint


The Smoking Gun has found yet another guy caught with the evidence right on his face -- he was getting high by inhaling the toxic vapors from a can of spray paint.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Knuckleheads In The News ®

Today's stories include a biker-bathtub collision, a thief whose bandana kept slipping, and a couple that met because he dreamed of her phone number. Listen.

Uchenna and Joyce, The Amazing Race

Uchenna and Joyce, the latest team eliminated from "The Amazing Race All-Stars Edition" were on my KMOX show today with stories about their adventure, their relationship with Mirna & Charla and Rob & Amber, and how -- as they traveled the world -- they were recognized from their previous season on the show, in which they won the million. Of all the teams in the show's history, this was one of the best, made up of two people who competed well and acted like real human beings towards each other and everyone they met.

Listen.


Here is their official website.

Maxed Out On Credit


This afternoon on my KMOX show, I talked with James Scurlock about his documentary "Maxed Out" (and the accompanying book), which details how more Americans are finding themselves in credit hell thanks to what he calls predatory lending policies. I asked him what role personal responsibility plays in our financial decisions, and what he means when he says that bank executives are sowing the seeds of their own destruction.

Listen.

Penguin on a Treadmill

Just can't get enough penguin footage? Here's one on a treadmill.


And here's the explanation.

Imus

Stop e-mailing and asking for my comments on the Imus non-story. I honestly couldn't care less. He'd be getting no attention if this happened anywhere besides New York, where the news media is headquartered and believes Imus is somehow important. He's not. If you want the best perspective on this distraction, read what my friend Perry Simon says.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Debbie Deals


You may have seen a St. Louisan named Debbie Montgomery in the last 20 minutes of tonight's "Deal Or No Deal," where she's rolling along, has turned down three offers from the banker, and will be back next week. She was on my KMOX show this afternoon to talk about it.

Because her episode hadn't aired when we spoke, and she had signed a confidentiality agreement with NBC promising not to divulge how much money she won, I didn't press her on that question (if she revealed the amount, she'd not only lose the check, but hear from the show's lawyers). But that didn't stop Debbie from talking about the experience of being on the show, explaining how she got through to one of the producers and convinced him to let her be a contestant, and what happened when she spit on Howie Mandel.

Listen.

Knuckleheads In The News ®

Today's stories include the duck and the robber, a naked burglar, and thieves who took everything including the kitchen sink. Listen.

Aaron Barnhart, TV Barn Radio

On KMOX today, I talked with TV critic Aaron Barnhart about last night's "Sopranos" season premiere and what HBO has in the pipeline of new series, including "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee." Aaron also previewed the new NBC show "Thank God You're Here" and Fox's cross-country chase series "Drive," and then we discussed the non-controversy over "American Idol" voting. Listen.


You'll find Aaron in print in the Kansas City Star and online at TVBarn.com. He's on my KMOX show every Monday at 4:15pm CT.

Yao vs. Nate

NBA star Yao Ming is 7'6" tall, so he doesn't have many of his shots blocked -- until he took on Nate Robinson, who is 21" shorter than Yao...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Movies & Missouri Values

Last year, I wrote about spending time with Aaron Eckhart and others while they were making the movie "Bill" here in St. Louis, and how the producers told me that Missouri has been used so seldom as a movie location that it leaves open myriad possibilities for future projects.

It would be nice to lure more movie productions here, but the economics of the business means they won't come unless they're given tax credits. Those are currently limited by law to $1.5 million a year, an amount so small that it gets used up very quickly, thus limiting the number of film projects that come to the state (last year, some $50 million in movie money didn't come here because the tax credits had been exhausted already).

Rep. Ed Robb agreed, and in January introduced House Bill 360, which would raise that tax credit to $10 million. Unfortunately, another legislator named Trent Skaggs threw a wrench in the whole works by offering an amendment that would limit movies eligible for those credits to those that reflect "Missouri values."

Values. The word makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It's another of those vague terms that politicians like to throw around to pander to their supporters, but which would be impossible to enforce. Who decides what "Missouri values" are? Are they the values of people in the Ozarks or in the Central West End, inner-city St. Louis or upper-class West County, multi-cultural University City or highly conservative Cape Girardeau?

Filmmaker Brent Jaimes, who has worked on many movies and videos shot in St. Louis and throughout Missouri, was on my KMOX show to explain the impact of such a "values" restriction. As he wrote to Rep. Skaggs:

Your amendment to award the tax credits only to film projects that espouse "Missouri values," that recognize the sanctity of life, that do not portray violence or sex, would essentially make the bill worthless and impossible to administer. I have no idea who would make these determinations and I don't believe your amendment offers any guidance on this issue. Any determination of what these Missouri values are or what these other terms mean would be vague, arbitrary and capricious. It would be impossible to enforce or administer and would certainly be struck down by any court. Surely you know how your amendment would effect this bill and how vague these ideas are.

It appears that your proffered amendment is only an attempt to make the General Assembly and Missouri filmmakers look like laughingstocks to the rest of the industry and the nation. At the same time, it offers you the chance to point out how those who might vote against your amendment are clearly against "Missouri values" and supporters of some unsavory life style as portrayed in current films.

His last point resonates. I can already hear the negative campaign commercials claiming that "John Jenkins voted against Missouri values; John Jenkins is bad for Missouri" -- when John Jenkins was truly voting for freedom, for the Bill of Rights, for keeping political posturing out of free speech decisions, for telling lawmakers that censorship is bad.

Politicians like Skaggs don't give Missourians enough credit to make their own entertainment choices. I'd bet you that Skaggs doesn't even go to the movies -- he's like those people who don't have a television but want to tell you what you should be allowed to watch.

I have asked Brent to keep me posted on any progress the bill makes, and whether other Missouri legislators will stand against Skaggs. I'll post any future updates here.

Listen.

Worth A Link

Friday, April 06, 2007

Knuckleheads In The News ®

Today's stories include a man who had the wrong body part surgically removed, a hit-and-run-and-drag culprit, and the continuing fallout from Keith Richards' dad-snorting claim and retraction. Listen.

Jon Macks

Today on my KMOX show, Jon Macks joked about Nancy Pelosi, the British sailors, and how Jon almost got into a fight by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time in Vegas. Listen.


Jon Macks is a longtime staff writer for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," author of several books including "How To Be Funny," and is developing a major motion picture for Universal. He has also written for the Oscars, Emmys, Tonys, Comic Relief, A Capitol Fourth, and many other TV events. He's on my KMOX show Fridays at 4:15pm CT.

Col. David Hunt


This afternoon on my KMOX show, I talked with Col. David Hunt, Fox News military analyst and author of "On The Hunt: How To Wake Up Washington and Win The War On Terror."

Hunt spoke bluntly about how Rumsfeld and the Power Point Generals have screwed up the war in Iraq, why we should get rid of the Department of Homeland Security, and why America has not become safer since 9/11.

We also talked at length about how we got the point where so much of the Middle East views America as evil, and how we have to do a much better job of winning hearts and minds there -- including putting more pressure on Saudi Arabia which, despite their claims, is not our "partner in peace."

Hunt's book is a must-read, regardless of your political leanings, because he skewers people from every side who have made mistake after mistake -- but none of them have been fired for them.

Listen.

Federer's Amazing Shot

In a match between two of the best tennis players of their generation, Roger Federer makes an unbelievable shot against Andy Roddick. Even Roddick was impressed.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Knuckleheads In The News ®

As heard on The Paul Harris Show, today's stories include a man who claims he's a werewolf, a baby named Metallica, and a woman saved by a pile of, well, you know. Listen.

High-Speed Rail Followup

Today on KMOX, I got an update on the possibility of getting a high-speed rail system built from Rick Harnish of the Midwest High Speed Rail Association. We talked about the obstacles that have to be overcome, which are mostly political, and the industries that will do all they can to keep a system like the French and Japanese have from being developed here.

Listen.

Police Scalping Scandal

Today on KMOX, I talked with Sgt. Kevin Ahlbrand, president of the St. Louis Police Officers Association, about Chief Joe Mokwa's decision not to fire the 8 officers who seized World Series tickets from scalpers and gave them to friends and family to use. Instead, he has suspended them for two weeks until the Police Board decides on their punishment -- Mokwa has recommended that they be reduced in rank for a year (which would cost them about $20,000 each in salary) to a probationary level.

There has been a lot of outrage about this from my listeners, who agree that these cops violated the public trust. If an usher at the ballpark had let some friends in to watch the World Series for free, they would have lost their job -- and wasn't it a coincidence that the officers had family and friends ready to use the tickets so quickly? It will also raise credibility questions every time these cops have to testify about evidence in the future. I heard from other public servants from a mailman to a firefighter who said this would have been a firing offense in their departments and were disappointed that the police officers were allowed to stay on the job.

In this audio, you'll also hear Chief Mokwa make the shocking claim that the officers "didn't recognize this as stealing" and that the culture inside the police department has to change. Among the questions yet to be answered are why St. Louis Circuit Attorney Jennifer Joyce hasn't charged the officer with a crime (one former cop suggested this was "larceny by conversion" or at the least, tampering with evidence), and why it took until April for the Chief to deal with an event that took place in October.

Listen.

First Pitch, Second Chance

Two days ago, I posted a the video of Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory throwing what may have been the worst First Pitch in history. Last night, Jimmy Kimmel had the Mayor on his show to give him a second chance. Watch what happened.

Bikini Firefighter


That's volunteer fireman Steven Cole, who wore this wig and bikini to a local park in Mason, Ohio. Some families in the park were a little freaked at the sight of him stumbling along in that outfit, so they called the cops, who busted Steve for DUI and other charges. Click the photo for the story.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Knuckleheads In The News ®

Today's stories include a teacher throwing poop at a student, DUI's involving a horse and a Zamboni, and Keith Richards denying that he snorted his father. I don't see why Keith and his publicist had to deny the story. Whether it's true or not, it doesn't change anyone perception of him, does it?

Listen.

Melinda, Sanjaya, and Simon's Cleavage

Today on KMOX, I talked with Dave Dellaterza of VoteForTheWorst.com about who is likely to be eliminated from "American Idol" tonight, how much longer Sanjaya might stay on the show, and whether Melinda is really a lock to win it all. Listen.

Scott Linehan, Rams Head Coach

It may be the NFL's off-season, but I'll take any opportunity to talk about football. That's why I had St. Louis Rams head coach Scott Linehan on my KMOX show today. We discussed the retirement of Marshall Faulk, what the Rams are looking for in the upcoming NFL draft, how he can get Alex Barron to cut down on false starts, and more. Listen.

Inside The Jury Room

Today on KMOX, I spoke with Allen McCarter, one of the jurors in the Kevin Johnson murder trial, who explained what went on in the jury room that led to the judge declaring a mistrial. McCarter was not happy about that, claiming that if they'd been given more time, the two women who were holding out for a first-degree murder verdict could have been convinced to change their minds and vote for second-degree murder.

For anyone who wonders about the calm, deliberative jury process, you're in for a surprise when you hear what it was really like in this case.

Listen.

High-Speed Trains

In May, 1986, my wife and I were in Vancouver for the World's Fair. One of the top attractions was a Japanese mag-lev train, which uses electro-magnets to hover over the rails.

The line to get on for a demonstration ride was too long, so we did some other things for a couple of hours and then stopped for lunch. We sat at a table next to a chain link fence without looking to see what was on the other side. A few minutes later, I heard a "whoosh" behind me. When I turned to see what it was, I saw one of the mag-lev trains racing past. There were none of the normal train-on-track sounds, just the soft whoosh of air displacement as the train passed. I thought, "that's a technology that has a great future, and I can't wait until it comes to the United States."

Here we are more than two decades later, and that technology hasn't taken hold here, but in Japan, the bullet train moves people quietly, at high speeds, throughout the country. Meanwhile, in France, their version of the bullet train -- which does ride on rails, rather than above them -- just broke a speed record by going 357mph. And China is investing heavily in high-speed rail, with thousands of miles of tracks under construction.

So, why hasn't the US jumped onboard? It would take a massive investment in infrastructure, of course, and would have to overcome tremendous pressure and opposition from the airline industry and others. But I'd like to see us undertake a national commitment to high-speed rail, similar to the interstate highway system a half-century ago.

With customer complaints about airline travel rising every week, and concerns about gas prices and fuel consumption making headlines every day and changing America's travel habits, now might be the time. Other reasons:

  • Less vulnerable to terrorism. It's awfully hard to take down a skyscraper with a train. True, they're vulnerable to the kind of attack we saw in Madrid a couple of years ago, but so are Amtrak trains currently, and we haven't had to ramp up security to ridiculous airport-like levels for that. Imagine being able to travel quickly between US cities without having to remove your shoes for a TSA screener.
  • Train travel is more comfortable, with more leg room, and more room to get up and walk around. Listeners who have been on the Japanese bullet train tell me that you don't even feel any vibration or tilting during the trip -- one guy said he didn't even notice a ripple in the glass of wine he had with lunch. Others who have traveled on the French TGV report a much more comfortable ride than on any commercial flight.
  • With average speeds of 180mph on long hauls -- trips of over an hour -- you could travel from St. Louis to Chicago or Kansas City in about 90 minutes. Take an Amtrak train today and the ride takes 5-6 hours, no better than you'd do in your own car. That's why so few people ride the rails now, because it doesn't save time.
  • Unlike air travel, the train can go from downtown to downtown, a big plus for business travelers who have to waste time getting to and from the airport at each end.
  • Eminent domain would have to be used to create the right-of-way for the new track that would have to be laid. But better to use it for this than for the $1.1 billion boondoggle that kicked families out of their homes in Bridgeton (MO) to make way for a new Lambert Airport runway that no flights land on! Why do we need new track? Because the current rail system is set up to facilitate freight transport, making passenger travel a secondary priority. We'd have to eliminate those waits on side tracks while a freight train rolls through. We'd also have to eliminate all those grade-level crossings, to make the ride as secure and simple as possible.
For political support, we'll appeal to Democrats' environmental sensibilities. For Republicans, we'll appeal to their patriotism, telling them there's no reason to be behind the dreaded French in anything (we could even call our high-speed rail The Freedom Train!). For both of them, we'll talk about creating jobs and new technologies, rather than relying on decades-old methods of getting from place to place.

In the 21st century, Americans want everything to be quicker -- here's one more way to make that happen.

Thoughts?

Gimme a G, Gimme an O, Gimme an AWAY


I am not making up the caption under this Reuters photo: "A prospective Denver Broncos cheerleader performs a routine on the first day of auditions in Denver, Colorado March 25, 2007. Over 250 women applied for the 34 slots." Shockingly, this entrant did not make the final squad.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Worth A Link

Here's that horrible story I told today on KMOX, yet another case of religious extremism killing people that science can save.

Sky News correspondent Ian Woods tells of Ethiopians with HIV and/or full-blown AIDS who are giving up their antiretroviral medication to go to a church and be doused with water. Here's the money quote: "It was a scene which reminded me of the Holocaust. Naked men, women, and children, some of them in chains to prevent them escaping, cower in front of the men in charge in a dimly-lit room in the church of St. Mary on Mount Entoto. These people fear death, but they believe that coming here will prolong their lives. It is more likely to have the opposite effect."

Nightmare Cruise update

Cindy Trampe was on my KMOX show a few weeks ago, telling the story of the nightmare cruise she had, thanks to Holland America. She complained not only to the company, but also to the Better Business Bureau, which had to make not one but two inquiries on her behalf before getting a response from the cruise line.

This afternoon, she revealed their offer: Holland America refused to give her a refund, but would "as a humble gesture of goodwill" extend her a shipboard credit of $50 off her next HA cruise -- the last one cost almost $2,000, so that's no discount at all -- plus some flowers and champagne. Naturally, Cindy is still unsatisfied and has stopped payment on the credit card charges for the cruise.

In the correspondence (see the whole thing here), HA's Marybeth Rose writes, in classic form-letter style, "We hope to have an opportunity to serve you again in the near future." Don't hold your breath, Marybeth!

Listen.

Knuckleheads In The News ®

Today's stories include Keith Richards snorting his father, a teen locked in a car, and Jesus and Satan in a honking contest. Listen.

First Pitch

Tossing out the first pitch at a baseball game can be nerve-racking. You don't want to throw it in the dirt, you don't want to throw it to the backstop, you just want to stand on the mound and throw a strike to the catcher.

This first pitch by Cincinnati Mayor Mark Mallory at the Reds' opener yesterday -- from in front of the mound -- may be the worst pitch ever. Good thing no one was watching, except the TV cameras...

Monday, April 02, 2007

Knuckleheads In The News ®

Today's stories include a cop busted after raiding a brothel, a town that banned gravesite flowers, a woman who's not having twins or quintuplets, and the armed robbers who didn't get away with the bread. Listen.

Aaron Barnhart, TV Barn Radio

Today on KMOX, Aaron Barnhart and I talked about the return of "The Sopranos" and "The Shield," and reiterated how much we like "The Riches." Listen.


You'll find Aaron in print in the Kansas City Star and online at TVBarn.com. He's on my KMOX show every Monday at 4:15pm CT.

Why Not Pay College Athletes?

Today's hot topic on my KMOX show and News 4 At 6 segment: with the NCAA men's basketball championship tonight, why not pay the college athletes who play the game and help make so much money for their schools, advertisers, etc.?

Comments are now open.

Above Iraq


Roger Peterson sent me this photo and e-mail from his son Scott, who flies a Chinook helicopter with the 25th ID in Iraq. It helps serve as a reminder of what life is like on a daily basis for our men and women in uniform stuck in the middle of this war:

Dad, Just wanted to update you on a few missions that are now complete. We did a big air assault the other day to a city that was taken over by people from Iran and Syria. It will be in Time Magazine in about 2 weeks. They brutalized or killed all the people in the town and made it a training camp. Anyway, that operation went well. Two nights ago, we went to pull out 55 troops and when they were loading on my aircraft one of the guys tripped on the ramp and ended up shooting the guy behind him. We flew him to the nearest hospital. 2 rounds ended up going though his tibia, a clean gun shot wound though his leg. He is doing as well as can be expected. Last night, I was getting ready to take off on a normal flight when we had a mission change and had to do a mass casualty evac. We ended up taking 3 kids and one adult; they were all hit by an IED. We were supposed to take 39, but they were not ready when the critical ones were, so we took the life-threatening injured ones down to Balad. The kids had major head injuries and were seizing in the back of the aircraft. We had 3 doctors, a nurse, and two medics on board and they treated them all the way. When we got there and dropped them off they were all stable and doing ok. The docs told us later if we did not get there when we did they all all would have died. That just goes to show you that they are killing their own and don't care what happens to anyone.

Well that was my last two flights wrapped up in 5 minutes. Just thought you would like to know what we actually did when we are not flying supplies around.

Here's that Time magazine piece.

McCain's Iraq Disconnect, cont'd

Last week, John McCain said that things were going so well in Iraq that there were neighborhoods in Baghdad were anyone could walk safely, contrary to media reports. This weekend, he proved it, by going to a market three minutes across the Tigris River from the Green Zone. Of course, to remain safe, McCain wore a bulletproof vest and was guarded by over "100 US soldiers, with three Blackhawk helicopters, and two Apache gunships overhead," according to NBC's Tom Aspell.

Can McCain seriously believe what he's saying, or is he so caught up in the political pandering process that he's abandoned the Straight Talk Express entirely?

Marilyn or Albert?


Up close, this looks like a picture of Albert Einstein. But back away from it and you'll see Marilyn Monroe.

It's from an article on hybrid images in New Scientist magazine (subscription required).