College Rejection Rejected

Frank Trampe got perfect scores on his SAT, very high marks on his AP exams, and has a near-perfect GPA at MICDS, one of the top private schools in the St. Louis area.

So when he wasn't accepted to his dream school, MIT, Frank was more than disappointed -- he wouldn't take no for an answer. Since the letter from MIT's Director of Admissions explained the reason for rejection was a lack of space at the school, Frank responded with a letter of his own (I have left his extra hyphens unedited):
I have no need of this so-called space of which you assert such an unfortunate lack. I require no room, no bed, no parking space, no computing time-share, and no internet connection. Ever the skilled and experienced nomad, I would be quite happy to live in the streets of Cambridge, foraging for food an occasionally attacking a McDonald's take-out customer. My grand-mother has an extensive collection of card-board boxes, and I'm sure that I could find one in the collection that provides adequate shelter for me and at the same time does not block the entire side-walk. If given weekly access to bathing facilities, I could keep myself tidy enough for infiltrating Starbucks for free electricity and Internet access for my trusty notebook.

As for space in actual classes, I can assure you that my unusual tastes (even for an Institute student) should generally keep me out of classes that tend to fill to capacity. If I do happen to enroll in a class filled to capacity, I would be quite happy to stand or hang from a light fixture by one hand as I attempt to take notes....

If you accept the offer, I cannot ask much more and certainly don't require a response to this letter. Unless I hear from you before then, I'll see you in the fall.

See Frank's entire letter -- page one here, page two here.