Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Lessons From The GOP

Ten things I've learned from Republican leaders in 2009:
  • Empathy is bad
  • Leaving your job halfway through the term isn't quitting, even if you don't have a new job lined up yet
  • Gays are ruining marriage, not heterosexual governors and senators who commit adultery
  • It's better to whine and complain about the other guy's ideas than to come up with your own solutions
  • Prove you're the Big Tent Party by celebrating when members leave (Arlen Spector) and urging others (Colin Powell) to get out, too
  • We don't torture, but if we do, we call it "enhanced interrogation"
  • States that don't like the federal government should secede, because it worked so well 150 years ago
  • Always keep a short term perspective, particularly when it comes to recovering from an economic crisis
  • If the Vice President did it, it wasn't illegal
  • When all else fails, blame David Letterman