Monday, January 17, 2011

The Palin Tease

I don't care what Sarah Palin thinks about anything.  Never have, never will.

She's never impressed me as anything more than an attention whore, the ex-beauty queen and local TV reporter who lives off her fame without actually accomplishing anything, much like Paris Hilton without the sex tape. She's the political Kelly Ripa -- a woman whose name few in America would have known if not plucked from obscurity and thrust into the spotlight by a man older than her grandfather.

On a regular basis, our media fall for these neo-stars and inflate them far beyond their true worth. Instead of grimaces at their lack of discernible talent, they get the spotlight that becomes the perpetual-motion publicity machine that makes it seem like they're offering something important that the public cares about. Would Snooki get a book deal and appearances on Letterman if she were a brilliant high school science teacher? Would Michele Bachmann get all that TV time if she'd proposed any kind of useful legislation instead of just throwing word bombs? 

Like other celebutants before her, Palin is riding her wave as long as she can. She gets all that attention because of The Tease -- will she run for President in 2012?

The answer is NO.

To do so, she'd have to emerge from Celebrity Land to answer real questions, develop real policies, and address real problems, none of which she has been able to do thus far.  But you can't convince the media punditry of that. As long as the possibility exists in the media's mind, they'll keep reporting everything she tweets, as if her utterances add any value to our national discussions. 

They don't, because it's just The Tease, and they've fallen for it, big time.  They're the nerdy guy at the bar that the beauty queen just winked at.  She lets him buy her a drink, maybe dinner.  He pretends to care about her pageant platform and listens to her smalltown-girl-makes-it-big story, all the while hoping she'll give him Something More.  He's so entranced by The Tease that he can't see that he'll never get anything else -- because it's not on her personal agenda.  She only wants him on her terms, for as long as she can use him to enrich herself. 

Then comes the really bold part.  She texts her friends how much she hates him and despises every moment with him.  And she doesn't even have the courtesy of doing it behind his back.  Instead, she shows him the texts after she sends them, then touches his arm and giggles so that, instead of being annoyed by her arrogance, he texts his friends to tell them what she said and how he thinks he has a real chance with her!

Watch and wait.  Even when it becomes clear that Palin won't run in 2012, she'll keep the speculation alive and the media will begin to wonder whether her real plan is to run in 2016.

The Tease works every time.